I Choose to Love You in Silence (A Letter that I Will Never Send) - Patung Beruang

Hari sudah lewat malam. Kepala sakit dan tekak mula perit. Tanda-tanda flu makin banyak. Mungkin sebab cuaca di Melaka weekend baru ini sangat panas. Sudah minum plain water bergelas-gelas pun masih lagi terasa bahangnya. 

Masalahnya sekarang, walaupun dah ada macam-macam tanda ini, Patung Beruang tetap tak boleh tidur. Haish.. esok nak kerja..

Makanya, Patung Beruang belek lah puisi Rumi. Mana lah tahu kan, tiba-tiba mata boleh mengantuk? Sayangnya.. lain yang Patung Beruang harap, lain pula yang dapat, huhu...

Patung Beruang terjumpa puisi ini.. Sedap sangat...

 I Choose to Love You in Silence

"I choose to love you in silence... For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness... For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance... For a distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind... For the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams... For in my dreams, you have no end."

Entah mengapa Patung Beruang rasa yang poem "I Choose to Love You in Silence" is more than words. It is a map of the heart for those who love without possession. 

For me, it is a love without expectation. We love that person quietly, without asking him or her to notice, acknowledge, or return our feeling. Every beat of longing is kept within us, not for him or her, but to preserve the purity of our heart. 

We learn to love without holding, to wait without demanding, and to accept that love can exist even from afar...

Dan tiba-tiba, 

Patung Beruang dapat idea untuk tulis sesuatu tentang seseorang. 

Yang jauh. Merentasi benua...

This is not about failure or unrequited love. It is a manifestation of courage - the courage to love purely, honestly, and with respect. Even when the love exists only in silence, only at a distance, and only in the heart... 

I Choose to Love You in Silence (A Letter that I Will Never Send)

"I choose to love you in silence, because some loves are too scared to be spoken aloud.

I loved you quietly, so you would never bear the weight of feelings you never asked for. 

I loved you without permission, without expectation, without claiming a place in your life - a place that God did not write for me. 

You will never know how often I choose restraint over confession, distance over desire, silence over relief. 

There were moments your memory settled in my chest -  unyielding, uninvited.  I carried it anyway - fragile and careful, afraid it might break me if I held it too tight. 

I never blamed you. You did nothing wrong. Some love is not meant to stay - it comes only to soften us, to humble us, to teach us how to let go with grace. 

Love does not always fail - sometimes it simply has no place to land, sometimes it simply completes its purposes. 

So I place this love with God, where it belongs - to be transformed from ache into wisdom, from longing into grace, from attachment into trust. 

I step back now, not because I love you less, but because I love you enough to release it - and to release myself. 

If ever this love returns, let it return gently:  without expectation, without weight, a soft echo in the chambers of my heart.

I choose to love you in silence. And now, I choose to let that silence be enough. 

This letter will never reach you. It exists only as a quiet act of faith - so my heart may rest where it truly belongs. 

Good night...

Somewhere in this quiet, I wish you well - and let that be enough...."

p/s: Gambar bulan yang diatas tu, adalah gambar yang Patung Beruang ambil dari living hall condo Patung Beruang di Seri Kembangan pada 7 March 2023. Cantikan? Saujana mata memandang, nampak pemandangan Putrajaya dan Cyberjaya. Itu adalah antara my favourite moon pictures yang ada dalam phone Patung Beruang. 

Kita memandang langit yang sama...